.Mood Swings.

*blows on the computer screen* (coughs) (coughs)...
yeah I really need to step it up on my bloggin..been falling off on the tracks again...but this time i'm get right back on it cause I've been in and out of emotions like a bad habit which goes into my topic of this evenings which is entitled "mood swings"....

:BEFORE I BEGIN I MUST GIVE A LIL SHOUTOUT TO MY BUDDY WENDELL!!(twitterpage @tafari1-go follow):

Woke up this morning on the wrong side of the bed most definitely I will say that...I felt like crying all damn day..why? because I'm just havin one of those moments...Looked in the mirror today and just wanted to break the mirror..I'm just so sick of looking at myself and feeling like 'ugh Tiffany your fuckin ugly'...I swear I be wanting surgery to remove these flaws that I have and make me perfect..but I know damn well I'm too chicken to go under the knife and I dont trust surgeons because they always fuck u over and make u worse than before in the long run..

I wanted to avoid texting people all day today but really I couldn't..kept some convos short with some people....I'm really strugglin with my insecurities and its getting to the point where its affecting my relationship with my boyfriend..I'm tryin not to let that happen but already we've had one or two lil disputes in which it showed...

went to church today, swear I dont like going to church with my dad and stepmom, it just makes me sick seeing her praise the lord and whatnot when really she is nothin but the damn devil herself....so as we was leavin church my stepmom ran into someone she knew a long time ago..she found out the lady husband died and my stepmom said her condolences(however its spelled) and told the lady how she thought they were such a perfect couple..then the lady replied back "aww thanks but if anything u and Eugene(my dad) are a perfect couple"..BULLSHIT!!! I started laughin when she said that...I despise my dad's marriage..yet I'm still holdin this deep frustrations towards him where I'm ready to tell it like it is whether it hurts his feelings or not.....

I miss my mom...I hate that I cant stay with her..I hate the fact I cant see her as much as I want to...its hurting me more than its hurting her that she's not employed yet and its been too damn long...I get more annoyed with staying at my dads household..I just hate being here..my dad makes me sick...my stepmom makes me even MORE fuckin sick..I'm just waitin for that day where its my time to leave this fuckin house and I wanna beat the shit out of here...I dont fuckin get what my dad sees in this woman because she has NOTHIN nice to say...UGH!!!

ugh IDK whats really goin on with me but its like I can't stay happy but for so long..only temporary...I think I really need to see some kind of therapy and figure out what the hell is wrong with me because I'm really not loving these mood swings I'm getting.....