When????

dont feel like playing any music right now cause really its just not going to make things any better....
ugh havin one of those rough as mornings...i mean just really bad...normally I NEVER complain about whats goin on in my personal life because there are other people who are out there doing far WORSE than me...but sheesh I do need to vent right now because talking to my mother or my father about whats bothering is not going to help and my sister won't understand until she knows what paying bills is like....
First and foremost I would like to say FUCK the government....you give people like me who have been applying to work for you no HOPE what so fuckin ever...you rather just not deal with someone who would start from the ground up, meanin u lazy fuckers rather not train a new person like me(even tho I have some kind of experience with Office Work within the past two yrs)...but instead u rather pick and old ass fucker who been workin for ya sorry asses for years and has a higher grade...so at this point I'am done with your sorry ass website usa.ed.gov....

Second alot of things I have to put back on hold once again...I'm stuck dealing with staying at my dad's house because I cant' afford tosave up for an apartment...why???? because for several reasons..mainly off of ONE issue..SCHOOL BILLS/LOANS needs to be paid back(every week for one bill, for my other two different loans its every month...on TOP of paying rent in my OWN fathers house every month)....alot shit could have been avoided had i just payed FUCKIN attention back in 06 when I went to penn state, even though my mom and I would have been strugglin paying tuition but SHIT i would have made some kind of grades and would have got some kind of scholarship....no my DUMBASS was too focus on things i didnt have the chance to do in high school, which was to MAKE FRIENDS...smh i swear I continue to beat myself about about this because I could have been graduated by now from a IVY LEAGUE school and probably would have had a steady job in the fall workin in my field that I majored in...but no
instead i work at a theme park where I get paid every friday and end up being broke by Sunday and left with less than $30.00 to my name to stretch me out for the rest of the week...so that means I dont eat much because there's nothing cookable in my house for me to make...and I dont have the time to cook like i use to because im gone around 7 n the morning and home about 7 in the evening and I'm just tired and the only thing i wanna do is just relax, b on twitter and go to sleep.....only days i have off are really sunday and mondays now but thats been occupied because of church and on mondays are the day to clean up the house(big house at that)...so its like i dont have the time really to go out there and apply for other jobs to get some other kind of income....
this struggling shit I'm dealing with is really pulling me down...so I have to cut back on EVERYTHING this year..such as I might not afford to go see Jeremy for 4th of july weekend and I REFUSE to have him pay for me to go..because I'm STUBBORN like that...so much for going on roadtrips with my friends because I wont be able to afford it....I can't save up for a car because of these bills I have to pay...can't go back to school because I owe them money before i caneven go back and thats some serious bread right there...ugh why can't be a stripper or one of those video vixens or come from a rich family or something....
but really ALL of this shit could have been avoided if i had payed better attention in school....